Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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