I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
