I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
