its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
