i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
