You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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