my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she pinky promised me she was 18
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
