I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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