Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
