I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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