Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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