spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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