your room smells of hookers.
And success
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
