i think my mom watched the whole time
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
