everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
