shes about as inviting as chlamydia
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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