I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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