Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
