I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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