I puked a lego.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
FUCK WHALES
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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