I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
