Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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