Whod you bang
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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