Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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