Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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