Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
