Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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