Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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