Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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