I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
