Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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