It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
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Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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