I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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