Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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