just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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