I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
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Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
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Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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