i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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