So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
