And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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