I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
