If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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