guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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