Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
did i walk over a car last night?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
