that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
