Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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