I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
