pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
