it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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