I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
