my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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