Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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