i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
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At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
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The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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