Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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