Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
