dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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