Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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