STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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