Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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