so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
