She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
