i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
