arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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