Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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