No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
